Text for the day

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the beginning was the Plan.

And then came the Assumptions.

And the Assumptions were without form.

And the Plan was without substance.

And darkness was upon the faces of the Hewers Of Wood and Drawers Of Water.

And they spoke among themselves, saying, “It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh.”

And the Hewers Of Wood and Drawers Of Water went unto the Supervisors and said, “It is a pail of crap and none may abide the odour thereof.”

And the Supervisors went unto the Managers, saying, “It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it.”

And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying, “It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength.”

And the Directors spoke among themselves, saying unto one another, “It contains that which aids plant growth and it is very strong.”

And the Directors then went unto the Director-that-Manages saying unto him, “It promotes growth, and it is very powerful.”

And the Director-that-Manages went up unto the Chairman-Sat-On-High, saying unto Him, “This new Plan will actively promote the growth and vigour of the company with powerful effects.

And the Chairman-Sat-On-High looked upon the Plan, and saw that it was good.

And the Plan became Policy.

And verily that is how shit happens.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Buffalo Theory

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest animal in the herd, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest animals that get killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. A little thought will show that it is obvious that the alcohol attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way regular consumption of alcohol eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

That's why you feel cleverer and more able to critically comment on the world around you after a few beers.